Consider taking the lead on your idea, Miss Powwow. Call the lady and propose meeting for drinks. She'll be suspicious ironic, eh? But I warn you: You won't get "the truth about it being over. You'll get a truth. If you're lucky, the lady will jabber out a more or less factual draft of her version of the truth. But do you really want to hear how many times your husband told her he loved her?
Or that he liked her legs better than yours? Or that he took her to your favorite bistro on the river? Or perhaps that lady will simply smile, clasp your hand to her heart, throw her eyes toward heaven, and begin lying her lips off. Well, well, I see I've changed my mind.
Meeting the "other woman" should not be a law. With odds of both good and evil arising from your meeting, weigh your rendezvous carefully. You've already withstood a hailstorm of pain. With a daughter. And another baby on the way. My co-worker is single with no kids. I have never been truly happy in my marriage. Yes, there were times when I was happy, but not truly happy. I compare my marriage to vanilla ice cream.
I was content in my marriage. I have a good life, good job, nice house, and all the things that come with that. Eventually, my wife found out about this, but she still wants to work on our marriage. That, combined with the lack of intimacy in our relationship, makes me wonder if I would be happier with a divorce. I still love my wife, but I am just not in love with her. There is no more spark. I feel much better when I am actually heard, but the resulting fights are frustrating because they are fruitless.
He was in a relationship when we met. I did a lot of casual dating. He moved out of the place he shared with his girlfriend before we met face to face. When we met face to face we became monogamous. About six months later he moved to my state. He got a divorce started within a month of us confessing our feelings for each other , did not date while he was getting divorced, went to counseling with his then-wife to tell her he was not interested in being married to her.
I did worry about it a lot when we were first together, but he always behaved with transparency and integrity, so I came to trust him. We now have two kids and are married. We've been married 27 years. He was in the Navy and I know he cheated on his ex-wife, even before he cheated with me. I know he's had harmless crushes and even a 'work wife' but that never much bothered me because he always remained devoted to me.
We got to be really good friends with the work wife. He never stayed out late at night, never hid his phone or emails, never exhibited any 'cheater' behavior. If he cheated and I don't know about it, I don't care. I'm not going to go look for trouble. I'm not jealous or suspicious by nature. No matter what we will remain husband and wife till death do us part.
Divorce is not an option. At the time, I felt justified because she was a s person and treated him like absolute garbage. She stole from him, she lied, she was the literal incarnation of the 'crazy girlfriend' before her boyfriend even began wandering away from her. He wanted so badly to stay with her, because they'd known one another since kindergarten, but as time went on he began realizing how toxic she already was and how much worse his affair with me was making it.
We both learned valuable lessons in that ordeal and I don't expect that he'll pull the same thing now as we're older, more mature and the circumstances are quite different.
He realized he was in too deep with both of us, but couldn't break it off with either of us. I dumped him on the spot and went no contact, but he tracked me down and after a few months of talking and work we got back together.
He explained during that year I went from the other to the main. He had a lot of trouble letting the ex go, but said I was the one he wants to be with and he'd do whatever it takes. I definitely have worries, about women he knows and about this ex if he should ever run into her again, though less so with the ex since it seemed like a very codependent but miserable relationship.
The worst has already happened and I survived, if it happens again I'd survive. I was also the one who instigated it, I pursued him, not the other way around. Two days after we had sex he broke up with his ex, who he was going to break up with anyway which sounds like a convenient excuse but he has proof of his intentions and we have been together ever since.
He told me about his girlfriend the day he broke up with her and acknowledged that he was coming into this with a strike against him. I have always been worried about it happening again, but he has been very transparent and understanding of this fear. However the ex will tell the whole world that he cheated on her with me for years, which is stupid because I had only known him for a few months before he broke up with her.
I'm insecure about everything, and his past with leading me on, telling me that he loved me and not her but never breaking up with her for two months and such didn't help with my insecurities. I was constantly worried I wasn't good enough and I didn't deserve him.
I was worried that she would come back and manipulate him back into that toxic relationship. I was worried that on the nights we didn't spend together, she'd come over and they'd have sex.
The list continues. In my defense he dumped her after the first month of meeting me, but called him and begged and manipulated him to let her move in with him because their only issue was the distance, and he caved Sometimes my mind will wander and I wonder if she's at his house with him, etc.
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